So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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