I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
