I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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