he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
