I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
