When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
