You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Terrible idea I love it
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
