Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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