What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
