You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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