So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
