I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
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just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
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When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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