Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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