I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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