she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
