pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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