we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
