I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
