Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
