you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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