Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
