It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You took a bar mat shot.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
