They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
vagina is talking i cant
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
