Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
