You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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