Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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