GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
