Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
