fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
