Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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