I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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