Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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