I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
