Non-Jews are for practice
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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