and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize
