I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
