i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
