did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize