Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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