you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
