i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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