Nicole vs. Life
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
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