just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
two words...techno handjob
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
