Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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