Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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