Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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