i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Vodka?
Forever.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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