atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
