Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You are the jesus of drinking
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
