Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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