Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
