see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize