You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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