i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
