White coat. Heels.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Randomize
