what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just want nice things and good sex
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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