One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
did you just send me my own nude
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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