um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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