I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
