Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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