There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
