home. puking in laundry basket.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
